Weeping Willow Parc Monceau

What if?

What if?

If you were still here, then today we’d spend some time together to celebrate your 56th Birthday. You’d be so happy to now have two healthy grandchildren. We’d go for a walk in the park. Maybe we would be making plans for the weekend. Would you like to go searching for mushrooms, just the kids, you and I? Continue reading “What if?”

Dealing with Death

Dealing with Death

Death is tough, especially for those who have lost someone dear, for those who have seen someone die, for those who are left alone. Death is tough, especially for the person realising that their days are numbered when they are scared of death.

Death is not easy. Dealing with it is not easy either.

Rose

When I was 5 my great grandfather died, his death marked me in a way no other death did, but more on that at another time. I saw his lifeless body, I was not scared, this was the first time that I had encountered death. If I remember well, he died during the night while working on some research.

When I was 10 my great grandmother died. Fragile like a young baby she was lying lifeless in her hospital bed where she had drawn her last breath. Up until a few days before she was still an active woman within the many walls of her home. Continue reading “Dealing with Death”

3 months

This is a little piece that I wrote yesterday (24th of Mai 2016), which does explain my recent blogging silence. Hopefully posting it will get me out of the slump. 

3 months

3 months ago my mother drew her very last breath.

I still cannot believe it. I cannot seem to grasp this new reality.

Sometimes things are very tough. Especially when realization comes crashing down on me like a tsunami.

3 months is a long time. So much can happen in 3 short months. I watched my daughter grow, develop an impressive bilingual vocabulary. I thought about my past, my present and what I want for my future. I got my creativity going again. Still these last three months have been foggy I am not experimenting Spring the way I did last year. I never experienced Spring so intensely as I did last year. I had no idea that the interests Spring so far would be the last one with my mother.  Continue reading “3 months”

B is for Book #AtoZChallenge

B is for Book

I read the book, quickly, the way I devoured the likes of Harry Potter and other childhood favourites. It was the first time that I read an ebook and that on my phone. I suddenly had a hard time putting down that computer we call phone (I don’t actually use it that much for calling). While I read the book, about the three ghost children, who had way too early lost their lives and who were stuck in our world fighting evil entities and trying to figure out how to go to the nice place, I thought of my mom, because I was sure that this was the type of story she would love to read.

Book, From Cornflakes to Eternity by S.D.GatesThe book, From Cornflakes to Eternity (here’s my review of it), written by fellow blogger S.D. Gates, who I had the pleasure ‘meeting’ during last year’s A to Z Challenge, she was too late to sign up on the official website, but participated anyways, I am glad that she did, because I might not have found out about her first book. I found out after the challenge that she had a book out in the wild, waiting for reads and reviews, when she had a special offer for it on kindle. So yes, I read it for free, but reading it I longed to pay for what I was reading. Continue reading “B is for Book #AtoZChallenge”

“I remember” – the speech I did not give

Stain AngelOn the 23rd of February 2016, my mother passed away. Exactly one month ago. Just in case the opportunity would have arisen at her funeral for a little speech (I held a speech at my grandmother’s funeral), I sat down and jotted down a few words in honour of my mother. Today, I want to recopy them and finally share them with the world. 


I want to share some memories of Nicola, who accompanied me for the first 27 years 6 months and 3 days of my life. I’ll start from the beginning…

Dear Nicola,

I remember how you and Moritz were having a mud fight, that I was not very fond of… this must be one of my earliest memories

I remember sitting inside of the basket that you had on the back of your bike.

To stay with biking, a passion you seemed to have, I remember how you ran after me while you taught me how to ride my own bike (I was a little short of 3 years old).

I remember your marriage, sorry, I was a bit of a pest.

I remember how you would meet me on the way home from school, when I was playing instead of walking home. Sorry for all those unnecessary worries. Continue reading ““I remember” – the speech I did not give”