P is for Permission
I have the tendency to ask for permission. Until recently, until coming to the realisation, I had the unexplained need for an acknowledgement of my decisions, a green light, a “go ahead!” All of these things often delayed me in my actions, put me on a detour or kept me from undertaking projects. This need for permission is probably linked to my number.
You would think that as an adult, one no longer needs to ask for permission. But often times I would find myself in situations, sharing a project, looking for advice or some input, that I received an opinion, which I sometimes mistook for a permission or the lack of permission.
But an opinion is an opinion, it should always be weight, taken into consideration. An opinion might not always be what is best for one!
When we are adults and need help, advice or just want to share our next step, our next undertaking, then we are not looking for permission. We are looking for support.
But it takes time to learn.
Just because someone does not like something, it won’t mean that we cannot or should do or try something. We should just take another moment to think about it, and if necessary adjust our project a tiny bit.
Do you ask for permission? Do you give permission or not when actually you are just meant to listen or give advice?
Pretentious Peter puts purple pens into petite Paula’s pretty peach Purse in Perth.
During the month of April, I am participating in the A to Z Challenge, my theme is authenticity and eclecticism, which in my book go hand in hand.
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© Solveig Werner 2016. All rights reserved.
Solveig Werner 
Permission can definitely slow one down. I was brought up on the notion that I wasn’t even allowed to breath without permission. It was pretty oppressive. It still shows up from time to time.
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If I’m understanding correctly, it’s not permission you are seeking, but perhaps it feels that way when someone doesn’t provide the exact response you are looking for when discussing some undertaking. Perhaps you are looking for support or affirmation, but when someone offers a suggestion or tweaks your idea in some way, if doesn’t feel right to you. I know I have my own sources, and have asked them for opinions on different things I’ve written. A few times I have received negative reactions to an upcoming post, and it’s then that I have to ask myself the question, “Why did I ask this person’s opinion in the first place?” It can be difficult to receive suggestions that you don’t necessarily agree with, but again, it’s not a matter of receiving “permission,” since it’s still your decision whether to accept the advice or ignore it. However, it all goes back to trusting the source. If I trust my source (and I do or I never would have asked in the first place), then I must also trust what they tell me, even if my first reaction is to disagree with their opinion. Most often I will edit my writing in accordance with a suggestion, not because I don’t trust myself, but because I trust my source and trust the process that two heads are better than one. Again, it’s not permission per se. It’s accepting help when it’s offered, even though you retain the final say.
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Do you know, I think I do. Hadn’t thought about that before…
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I had quite a lot of sales training in my earliest jobs. I learned that people asking questions and raising objections, isn’t necessarily a no but perhaps another avenue that needs to be explored, addressed, answered. It could well be a stepping stone to yes. They’re just not quite there yet. That’s been very useful through life. When it comes to getting feedback on your writing, Steven King says not to show it to others until its finished and cautions what I guess is launching into your excitement before it’s taken shape. That’s currently a bit awkward for me as my A-z challenge has evolved into a manuscript but this is very much the beginning. The launching pad.
All the best working out where you’re heading at the moment. I was parked at the crossroads at the start of the year with the kids changing schools and leaving the school where I was quite involved, behind. That gave me the space to read launch into my letters to Dead Poets. So, I hope a similar breakthrough comes through for you soon too!
xx Ro
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