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“What is it?” the midwife asked S. after she laid screaming little one onto my chest. 

He checked.

“A girl!”, S. told us.

I had just given birth to a screaming little baby, a girl. I had not known until then.

During my pregnancy I did not want to know, if I was carrying a boy or a girl, what counted for me was to give birth to a healthy baby. At the ultrasound exams I asked not to be told.

People always asked me: “Boy or Girl?”

“I don’t know. It is a surprise.” I would answer.

“But don’t you want to know what it is? To buy the clothing? Decorate its room?” Were some of the questions I would hear.

Even though not everyone understood. My grandfather was very proud of us for not wanting to know in advance. My sister said she would be doing the same thing, because our parent’s did so in the past.

Somehow I knew deep inside me that little one would be a girl. At five months pregnant I dreamt of her first name. Little one picked it herself.

The name she has now was the only name we had. Thus in the delivery room we were a bit worried as we had not yet found a name for a boy…


Written by Solveig Werner

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