Truth – T – A to Z Challenge 2019

Earlier this year I mentioned on my blog that I want to change professionally. From time to time I have had posts in a self-analysis style. In a way sharing these thoughts, makes me feel less lost.

So the truth is that there are quite a few truths.

I wrote a guest post for Gulara Vincent more than 3 years ago. At the time my mother was dying. Still, when I wrote the post I touched upon the truth about myself. The truth that I am always hiding from myself.

Whenever I flick through my notebooks, this truth comes back at me.

I reflect all the time, trying to figure out which path to follow.

There are a few things that I want to have in my professional life. I want to teach (explain, transfer knowledge, inspire people, make you jump over your shadow), I want to write (anything really, no wonder I wanted to be a journalist, and loved writing papers), want to research things.

The truth is, I am hiding from my own capabilities.

I am reading a book (this is homework) in order to find my professional path. Well, guess what, there are no answers! All the answers the book is giving me bring me back to where I was. The only thing that is happening is that I am confronting the truth.

So what is this truth?

The truth is I need to fight my imposter syndrome, stop worrying about admin stuff to publish my book. For now, I think I will publish a collection of short stories.

The truth is, I am a writer.

The truth is, I need to find a job that lets me make money, has good hours, makes me think, research, encourage people, transmit knowledge, and write.

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The art of avoiding

Today, I have a strange day. The kids aren’t with me, S. is working and as it is a Monday I have almost no lessons to teach. This means it is the perfect day to do things that I should do. Such as cleaning the bathroom (something I really do not enjoy doing), or pre-write a few blog posts (I have never been good at that), or simply sit down and write.

But…

The weather is amazing! The forecast for today is 26°C, the sky is blue, it is sunny. On top of that, I received two interesting books just at the moment that I sat down to write this post (one I already know a bit as the first draft was published on a blog, it is The Halley Branch by Trent P. McDonald). I have two newspapers to read (ok I don’t think that I’ll behave like I did once, 15 years ago, when I read a copy of The Economist in its integrity from cover to cover…) I have the special edition of Der Spiegel “#Frauenland” which is super interesting too…

Those are just the easy distractions.  Continue reading “The art of avoiding”