The darker season

It was November, it was definitely November.


Rachel looked out the window.


Rain was pouring down from the grey almost black sky.
November. What a month. No light.


Rachel grabbed her bag, her umbrella and glanced at her feet. The shoes, that she was wearing were most certainly not going to help her keep her feet dry.


“Rachel, are you ok” a worried voice made her leave her bleak daydream.
She looked at her colleague Carol. Who was looking at her with a concerned smile.


As an answer, Rachel forced herself to smile an unconvincing smile and nodded.

“Rachel, come on. Tell me what lays heavy on your heart. I won’t judge you.” Carol reassured in a warm voice.

Rachel hesitated, all the negative thoughts were wooshing through her brain. November was never easy, but this one was particularly hard for her.

“Thank you, Carol, but I will be okay.”

Continue reading “The darker season”

Truth – T – A to Z Challenge 2019

Earlier this year I mentioned on my blog that I want to change professionally. From time to time I have had posts in a self-analysis style. In a way sharing these thoughts, makes me feel less lost.

So the truth is that there are quite a few truths.

I wrote a guest post for Gulara Vincent more than 3 years ago. At the time my mother was dying. Still, when I wrote the post I touched upon the truth about myself. The truth that I am always hiding from myself.

Whenever I flick through my notebooks, this truth comes back at me.

I reflect all the time, trying to figure out which path to follow.

There are a few things that I want to have in my professional life. I want to teach (explain, transfer knowledge, inspire people, make you jump over your shadow), I want to write (anything really, no wonder I wanted to be a journalist, and loved writing papers), want to research things.

The truth is, I am hiding from my own capabilities.

I am reading a book (this is homework) in order to find my professional path. Well, guess what, there are no answers! All the answers the book is giving me bring me back to where I was. The only thing that is happening is that I am confronting the truth.

So what is this truth?

The truth is I need to fight my imposter syndrome, stop worrying about admin stuff to publish my book. For now, I think I will publish a collection of short stories.

The truth is, I am a writer.

The truth is, I need to find a job that lets me make money, has good hours, makes me think, research, encourage people, transmit knowledge, and write.