What if?

What if?

If you were still here, then today we’d spend some time together to celebrate your 56th Birthday. You’d be so happy to now have two healthy grandchildren. We’d go for a walk in the park. Maybe we would be making plans for the weekend. Would you like to go searching for mushrooms, just the kids, you and I?

Today, I would have baked a chocolate cake, and surprised you. I would have gifted you with a book, written by a fellow blogger. One of those books that never leaves you.

We’d spend a good time together, and I would inquire if you could babysit spend some quality grandmother time in the weeks to come so that I can work more.

If you were still with us, living your life. Then you might be on a trip, travelling to Normandy or somewhere else, visiting a good friend. Maybe you’d be out cycling, visiting  an exposition. You’d probably be elbows deep in an art project, just like you almost always were.

What if you’d walk in now? I wouldn’t believe my eyes! Because today, is your second birthday that you cannot celebrate. You left too early! You are missed dearly.

Last year, the first #NicolaWernerChallenge took place, this year was already the second edition. You have already been away for that long. “Live the music that plays within you!” is the motto.

I am trying to follow your call to live, “to live life to it’s fullest!” and to “Live the music that plays within you!”

Maybe today you would put on your favorite music. India Arie seemed to be so important for you! Just do you, I recall you saying it is so important to follow your passion! And I am Light must have given you a sense of security in those last few weeks.

Even though you are no longer here, you still are. Sometimes your granddaughter mentons you, and she was barely two when you took your last breath. Sometimes you are very present in my mind. At those moments, I feel that you are there with us.

This spring, the weeping willow finally grew back to the beauty you were never able to see again. It hit me hard this spring when I realised, that your last Spring and Summer it was cut to the stem, naked.

Love you!

Happy birthday!

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